Servant Spirit

Often times, I feel overwhelmed and used.  I feel like no one realizes how much I have on my plate, and get upset when they dare demand for more. As I sat in mass today, and Father Larkin read the gospel, something hit home.   I had heard, read this specific scripture many times, but today it spoke to me.  In today's gospel reading James and John ask Jesus to secure them a seat next to Him, when they enter the kingdom.  Jesus replies and tell them that that is not His decision to make, and goes on to say:  "Rather, who ever wishes to be great among you will be your servant; whoever wishes to be first to be first among you will be the slave of all.  For the son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:44-45)

I pride myself in calling myself a worshipper, a christian, a follower of Christ.  Only today, I didn't feel like one.  I realized that I haven't been imitating Christ so much.  And at the end of the day, that is what I'm called to do....Imitate Christ.  Christ had a compassionate, loving, servant spirit.  Although He is God, he still humbled himself, not only by becoming human but by serving us.  He came to serve us.  He wasn't selfish.  He wasn't focused on finishing the days work to go home and relax, or watch TV, or have free time.  He was always focused on His mission.  Ready to serve.  All though He is God, and should have had a train of servants serving Him.  He chose to serve us.  And I question myself, am I really imitating Him, when I get upset?  Am I imitating Him when I complain?  Am I imitating Him when I put my needs ahead of my brothers and sisters?  I think not.  In fact, I ask myself "How dare I complain or expect others to be so considerate of me?  How dare I be so selfish?  When Jesus himself was a servant.  He came down from heaven to serve me, to serve all of us.  How dare I?

As of today, I promise to work on that.  I pray that the Lord guides me, and softens my heart.  To help me, get over myself, and focus on the Kingdom.  He stayed focused and so He earned the ultimate prize.  He is seated at the right hand of the father.  Isn't that what James and John wanted?  A seat of higher position? Yes. And that is what I want to.....Not here on earth, but next to my Father in His kingdom.

Lord, help me stay focused and give me a servant spirit. In Jesus name, I pray.  Amen.